She sat by herself at the bar of the restaurant. Her only company was a book. I sidled up near her, two stools apart, maybe three, as casual as I could muster. I would quote what I said, but my attempt at a joke sputtered out of me so poorly that I’m not even sure it made sense. She looked up at me and there was a moment of silence between us so awkward, you could have stabbed me in the groin and I wouldn’t have noticed.
Her face quickly went from confusion to disgust. My mind raced for some sort of recovery. Some sort of new, more clever joke to make up for my failed attempt at my original, semi-clever joke. Nothing came.
In the past, I sulked away in this situation having embarrassed myself again. But this time something in me snapped—or not snapped, but rather, something resigned itself. I sighed and said, “I’m sorry, I was trying to be clever. I just wanted to say hi.”
The air eased between us a bit. Her disgust faded and she gave me kind of a friendly grin, “It’s OK. It was a nice try… I guess.”
I laughed, “No it wasn’t.”
She laughed and I sat down next to her.
ATTRACTION AND YOUR INTENTIONS
There’s a lot of advice on attracting women out there. And what most of it misses is that attraction, seduction, intimacy, sex, whatever you want to call it—is an emotional process, not a physical or social one. You can say the “wrong” things and still attract a woman. You can say all of the “right” things and repel her. What matters is the intention, the motivation, the authenticity. To improve your dating life, you must improve your emotional life—how you feel about yourself and others, how you express yourself to others, etc.
It’s not about learning lines or routines or dressing up a certain way. It’s about unmasking the unique and attractive man within yourself and joyfully expressing it to the women of the world.
