FORGIVE ME PAST: Dashing Hopes

It wasn’t long after contemplating her statement that I cracked the code. She was waiting for me to make the step, which I learned after wasting only a few seconds. I stood and carried her, like just-marrieds on their honeymoon, and made our way into the bedroom. It was dark and cold—a good environment for love-birds to explore their talents.

Switching on the light would be a mistake, so I tried everything to avoid her becoming conscious enough to realize we were now in total darkness. Or, perhaps, she was in the same accord with me and therefore wouldn’t mind.

My ally, the darkness, however almost spoilt our moment. Since I couldn’t see clearly where I was going, I halfly dumped Rachael onto the floor, thinking the bed was still in the same position as I had left it months back. To my surprise, I wasn’t reaching the soft mattress so I didn’t let go of her. She didn’t say a word, however. I walked on red charcoal as I searched for the position of the bed which I found after a few more steps on the side.

“We didn’t lock the door,” Rachael pulled out a security alert. I rushed back to the other side and tidied up the mess on the floor, turned off the radio, locked the door and switched off the light. Within no time, I was already back besides my ‘prey’. I could hear her exhale and sigh romantically. She was already clothed in her night wear! Such quickness, I thought. I was at the gates of my final destination!

It was time for me to remove the extra clothing on me, as the time of impressing had already come to an end. Pulling her close to my side, I wrapped her body in the folds of my arms. Her heartbeat became faster and clearer. She mumbled as I passed my hands allover her body, amid kisses. This was the perfect time to push my luck! I set my hand again on the journey to the center of her body, but she resisted again despite the state of powerlessness she was in.

“I told you we are not there yet, Sam,” she reminded. I melted away. That ‘evil’ statement was voted by my metallic phallus as the worst I’d heard in my entire life. In the valley of shame and disappoitment, I withdrew the mission and continued the game of acting good. I pretended as though the statement hadn’t affected me that much, rather gave me an enlightenment.

“So, you mean to say caressing and snogging are acceptable by God?” I tried to backfire in the most sarcastic way, to treat the fever of disappointment allover my body, but she played her cards well too.

Setting her body free from my embrace, Rachael replied, “I’m sorry for leading you into sin, Ugandan Jesus. I promise I won’t do it again.” I wanted to object but her distancing from myself made me dumb. All I managed to do was to pull her back to my side and kill any traces of a fight. That did the magic, but not for me.

I didn’t sleep the whole night. Satan was whispering sinister ideas in my mind. At one point of the night, I had even decided to apply a little force but hardly had I started to breathe life to my inhuman thought, than she made a toss that gave me second thoughts. I let the night slip away just like that.

The early chattering birds rescued me from the bondage of ‘starvation’ gnawing my body. My eyes were dry and aching from insomnia. After putting on my clothes, I made a silent attempt to escape from Rachael without bidding farewell but she caught me tip-toing towards the bedroom door. I suppose she had also failed to sleep the whole night. “You’re leaving this early?” she asked.

“I have to leave, Rachael,” I replied.

“But you weren’t even going to inform me about your departure?” Her voice was getting louder so I got ready for the fight we always had when I was executing my departure that would mark the beginning of an eternity without seeing each other. However, she didn’t give it to me this time round. “Okay you can do whatever you want,” she concluded. I didn’t add anything either.

It was just 6:14am by my watch. I opened the door and gave myself to the arms of the day being born. Though I had money to board a motorcycle, I decided to walk, giving my mind away to the thoughts of Rachael. It was clear to me that Sande would be the right person to see first, so I headed to his place.

After a 30-minute walk, I was at his door, knocking. I didn’t get a reply. I concluded that he must have left for work, perhaps, after several attempts of calling him but in vain. That wasn’t good news to me. How could I face my three colleagues after making my presence around them insufficient for two days, in addition to informing them not about my plans and where I had gone? All the same, I decided to go back for I had no other choice. I wasn’t as well ready to continue the extravagant spending of my money, at least not at such a time.

As the sun’s rays became distinct, I was already at my dear ‘home’. To my surprise, the door was already unlocked. Are these guys already awake this early, I thought. I pictured their surprised faces at the sight of my new looks. The croaking sound of the old door reported my arrival as I pushed it open. To be honest, our abode was stinking! It always did whenever I’d return from Rachael’s.

Stone was still snoring on his sofa, with a put-out marijuana stick between his fingers of course, but there seemed to be no one on the other side. That was good for me because I didn’t want them to learn about my presence before going back to ‘factory settings’. Within five minutes, I had finished dressing in my rags and hiding every alien thing I had come with; the fancy clothes neath the usual ones, and other toileting stuff, in the heart of an old bag in which my belongings were.

The only thing I failed to undo was the haircut. Anyway that was easier to account for, unlike things like the blazer and watch. Pulling out my mattress to have a nap—to pay for the sleeplessness at Rachael’s—I first sandwiched my money between the upper layer of my mattress cover and mattress, which was now only 732,000shs. As soon as I lay down, sopor took over.

“I also saw him hide money in his mattress, at that part where he rests his head.” I heard the vague utterance in Ronnie’s voice. Because I wasn’t fully awake, I thought I was still dreaming. However, the persistance of Ronnie’s voice in whatever the talk was about made me think otherwise. I had a feeling that the three were surrounding me.

Before lifting my head, I cracked one eyelid open to have a look at what was going on. My new clothes and other things I had come with had been put on the sofa as Stone and Gerald gazed at them with grinding teeth and clenched fists respectively. All I can say is that they didn’t look happy.