“Conventional wisdom” (a.k.a. cultural programming) claims that men want sex and women want love. Even if we know it isn’t true, we’re at least well aware of the trope.
Or taking it a step further: men barter love to get sex, and women barter sex to get love. Something along those lines.
I’ve thrown out a lot of outdated generalizations but this one isn’t just wrong, it could be that the reverse is closer to the truth.
Here are a few things to consider.
Follow the money
The ways we make use of technology to supplement or substitute for a lover reveals something interesting. Men and women tend to utilize different tools. For women the most common tool is a vibrator. Whereas men are more likely to use porn. Or dolls. (In the parlance of the sex toy industry, women buy toys that stimulate, men buy toys that simulate.) Or a sex worker.
This shouldn’t be news to anyone, but so what? Well, the multiple billions of dollars in vibrator sales each year are a testament to the importance of physical stimulation and sexual pleasure for women.
And men? What’s the common thread with porn, dolls and sex workers? Seems like men are seeking real or simulated other human beings to share the experience with…? We’ll come back to this later.
